Conversing or Conversating: Which Is Correct?

Have you ever been mid-conversation totally on a roll and suddenly frozen by the thought: wait, am I conversing or conversating right now? Don’t worry. Your brain didn’t malfunction. This is one of those grammar debates that trips up native speakers, confident writers, and even that one friend who always corrects everyone else’s English. The confusion is real, surprisingly widespread, and honestly more interesting than it sounds. One word belongs in boardrooms and essays. The other lives comfortably in text threads and TikTok comments. Before you use either one again, let’s settle this once and for all.

The Verdict: Conversing or Conversating?

Let’s settle this immediately.

Conversing is the grammatically correct present participle of the verb converse. It follows standard English conjugation rules and appears in every major dictionary as the accepted form.

Conversating is a nonstandard back-formation. It’s common in casual speech and informal digital writing but doesn’t meet the bar for professional or academic use.

Quick Reference: ✅ She was conversing with her professor after class. ❌ She was conversating with her professor after class.

Both words describe the act of talking but only one belongs in your cover letter, research paper, or professional email.

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What Do These Words Actually Mean?

Before diving into grammar, it helps to understand what each word is doing linguistically.

Conversing comes directly from the verb converse, which means to engage in spoken exchange or dialogue. The conjugation follows a completely standard English pattern:

• Converse → conversing (present participle)
• Converse → conversed (past tense)
• Converse → converses (third person singular)

Conversating, on the other hand, didn’t follow that clean path. It emerged from the noun conversation and worked backwards to create a new verb conversate which then produced conversating. Linguists call this process back-formation, and it’s where things get genuinely fascinating.

Think of back-formation like reverse engineering a car. Instead of building from parts, someone started with the finished product conversation and worked backwards to create a verb that didn’t previously exist in standard English.

The Grammar Case: Why “Conversing” Is the Standard Form

Grammar isn’t just about rules for the sake of rules. It’s about clarity, consistency, and being understood across different audiences.

The verb converse has existed in English since the 14th century. Its present participle conversing follows the same logic as hundreds of other English verbs:

Notice the pattern? Drop the final e, add -ing. English is consistent here and conversing fits perfectly.

Conversating breaks that pattern entirely. It introduces an extra syllable -ate that has no grammatical justification in standard verb formation. From a prescriptive grammar standpoint (the rules as written), it simply doesn’t hold up.

That said, descriptive grammar tells a different story. Descriptive linguistics looks at how people actually use language not how textbooks say they should. From that angle, conversating is a legitimate reflection of how millions of English speakers communicate every day. Neither view is entirely wrong. They just serve different purposes.

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Where Did “Conversating” Come From?

This is where the story gets genuinely interesting.

Conversating is what linguists classify as a back-formation a word created by removing or altering part of an existing word under the assumption that the shorter form must be the root. English does this more often than you’d think.

Common English back-formations you already use:

• Editor → edit (edit wasn’t the original word editor was)
• Burglar → burgle
• Enthusiasm → enthuse
• Television → televise
• Donation → donate

So someone heard conversation, assumed there must be a verb conversate, and started using it. Over time, conversating followed naturally.

The word has documented roots in African American Vernacular English (AAVE), a fully developed linguistic system with its own consistent grammar rules, vocabulary, and structure. AAVE isn’t broken English it’s a distinct dialect with deep cultural and historical roots. Many words and phrases that originated in AAVE have entered mainstream American English over time, and conversating is part of that tradition.

Linguist and author John McWhorter, who has written extensively on Black English and American dialects, notes that AAVE regularly creates new verb forms through processes like back-formation and that these words carry legitimate linguistic validity within their community of speakers.

Conversating began appearing more frequently in written records during the late 20th century and surged with the rise of social media in the 2000s. Hip-hop culture also played a significant role in popularizing the term, giving it wider exposure beyond its original dialectal roots.

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Is “Conversating” in the Dictionary?

This question sits at the heart of the whole debate. Here’s what the major authorities actually say:

The gap between recognized and standard matters enormously here. Dictionary.com listing conversating as informal doesn’t make it correct for professional writing it just acknowledges that the word exists in real-world usage. Merriam-Webster, widely considered the gold standard for American English, doesn’t include it at all.

The practical takeaway: If a word doesn’t appear in Merriam-Webster, keep it out of formal writing. That’s the safest rule for writers who want to maintain credibility.

Formal vs. Informal English Knowing When It Matters

Not all writing lives by the same rules. Context determines correctness more than most grammar guides admit.

In formal English always use conversing.

Formal writing includes job applications, academic essays, business reports, professional emails, journalistic articles, and legal documents. In these contexts, conversating signals a lack of polish. It distracts the reader and can undermine your credibility before your actual argument lands.

In informal English conversating has its place.

Casual text messages, social media posts, spoken conversation, and informal blog writing operate under different standards. Here, conversating fits naturally and nobody blinks. Language in these spaces is fluid, expressive, and constantly evolving.

In creative writing it’s a deliberate tool.

A novelist writing authentic dialogue for a character from a specific community might choose conversating intentionally. That’s not a grammar error. That’s craft. Forcing grammatically “correct” language on characters who wouldn’t speak that way flattens authenticity and rings false to readers.

Side-by-Side Usage Examples: Conversing vs. Conversating

Seeing both words in action across different contexts makes the distinction immediately clear.

Professional / Formal Writing

✅ The delegates spent the afternoon conversing about trade policy. ❌ The delegates spent the afternoon conversating about trade policy.

Academic Writing

✅ Researchers observed participants conversing in natural settings. ❌ Researchers observed participants conversating in natural settings.

Everyday Spoken Conversation

✅ We were just conversating about the game last night. ✅ We were just conversing about the game last night. (Both work here register is informal)

Social Media

✅ Been conversating with my girl all night, time flies. (Natural and appropriate for the platform)

Creative Writing / Character Dialogue

✅ “Y’all been conversating this whole time and didn’t call me over?” authentic character voice ✅ The two scholars spent hours conversing, their voices low and measured.

The pattern is clear. Register the level of formality in a given context determines which word fits. Master that principle and grammar decisions become far more intuitive.

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Common Mistakes Writers Make

Even experienced writers slip up here. These are the most frequent errors to watch for:

• Using conversating in formal documents. Cover letters, academic papers, and business proposals all demand standard English. One nonstandard word can shift a reader’s perception of your credibility.
• Assuming spoken language and written language follow the same rules. They don’t. We accept far more grammatical flexibility in speech than in writing. Just because something sounds fine out loud doesn’t mean it reads correctly on the page.
• Treating conversate and converse as interchangeable. They’re not. Converse is the standard verb. Conversate is the nonstandard back-formation. They might mean the same thing colloquially but carry very different professional weight.
• Over-correcting dialogue in fiction. This is the flip side of the problem. Editing conversating out of a character’s authentic speech robs the writing of its voice. Grammar correctness should serve the story not override it.
• Not knowing your audience. A grammar error in front of one audience is natural language in front of another. Always write with your reader in mind.

Google Trends and Real-World Usage Data

Numbers tell part of the story that grammar books don’t.

Google Ngram Viewer a tool that tracks word frequency across millions of books shows conversing appearing consistently in published writing since the 1800s. Conversating barely registers in the formal written corpus, though it shows a gradual uptick from the 1990s onward as informal writing became more prevalent online.

Google Trends data shows that searches for “is conversating a real word” and “conversating vs conversing” spike regularly suggesting this debate isn’t going away anytime soon. The search volume also indicates that most people arrive at this question out of genuine uncertainty rather than academic curiosity.

Key data points:

• Conversing appears approximately 40 times more frequently than conversating in formal published English (Google Ngram data)
• Searches for “conversating” spike most heavily in the United States, particularly in regions with strong AAVE cultural influence
• The word sees consistent use on Twitter, TikTok comments, and informal blog posts far less so in news outlets, academic journals, or professional publications

The data confirms what grammar guides have long said: conversing dominates formal written language while conversating thrives in informal digital spaces.

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Reference Cambridge Dictionary Definitions

Here’s a trusted source for clear Grammar:

• Cambridge Dictionary

FAQs

Is conversating a real word?

It depends on how you define “real.” Conversating exists millions of people use it daily and some dictionaries acknowledge it informally. But it isn’t a standard English word recognized by Merriam-Webster or Cambridge. It’s real in practice but nonstandard in formal grammar.

Which is correct conversing or conversating?

Conversing is grammatically correct. It’s the standard present participle of converse and works in all contexts formal and informal. Conversating is nonstandard and should stay out of professional or academic writing.

Can I use conversating in writing?

In informal writing social media, casual blogs, personal messages yes. In formal writing essays, business documents, professional emails no. The word signals informality and can quietly undermine your credibility in professional contexts.

Why do people say conversating instead of conversing?

Because conversating emerged organically through back-formation from the noun conversation. It’s an intuitive linguistic move. Add its history in AAVE and its spread through hip-hop culture and social media and you have a word with serious cultural momentum behind it.

What is the base verb for conversing?

The base verb is converse. From there: converse → conversing → conversed → converses. Clean, standard, and simple.

Is conversating slang or nonstandard English?

It’s more accurately described as nonstandard English. Slang tends to be intentionally playful or coded. Conversating emerged as a genuine attempt to build a verb from a noun it just didn’t follow the standard grammatical path.

Does any major dictionary accept conversating as standard?

No. Dictionary.com lists it as informal and some editions of the Oxford English Dictionary acknowledge it in limited entries. But no major dictionary classifies it as standard English.

Is conversating connected to AAVE?

Yes. The word has documented roots in African American Vernacular English, where back-formation is a recognized linguistic process. Its spread into mainstream American English followed the broader cultural influence of AAVE through music, media, and digital communication.

The Bottom Line

Here’s the one rule worth keeping: use conversing when you write and save conversating for casual speech.

That single habit protects your credibility in professional settings without dismissing the legitimate role conversating plays in informal language and cultural expression. Grammar isn’t about policing how people talk it’s about choosing the right tool for the right moment.

English has always evolved. Words that started as slang or dialect eventually earned their place in standard usage. Whether conversating crosses that line someday depends entirely on how language shifts over time.

For now? Let conversing carry your formal writing. And if a character in your novel says conversating leave it in. That’s not a mistake. That’s a voice.

James Walker

James Walker is an English language educator and grammar enthusiast dedicated to helping learners improve their writing and communication skills. As an author at AZ Grammar, he simplifies complex grammar rules into clear, practical lessons suitable for students and beginners. With a passion for language learning and education, James focuses on making English grammar easy, understandable, and useful for everyday communication and academic success worldwide.

Email: azgrammar29@gmail.com

Website: azgrammar.com